Important People

Who are the “important people” and what makes them so?

I had an in-law with whom I could never bond. Any time we would begin a conversation, I could never hold his gaze. His eyes were searching the room to see who else came in, and the minute someone more important arrived he would turn away and start a new conversation with that person. How many times was I left standing with a half-finished sentence hanging from my lips? Obviously, I wasn’t important enough to invest in a familial or even friendly relationship. This was a behavior learned from his father. It passed not to my husband, but to his brothers and their wives. And they wondered why I was reluctant to linger at family gatherings.

How much effort does it take to make a person momentarily feel important? How little thought does it take to make a person feel completely invisible and of no value?

So then, what defines an important person?

I couldn’t begin to count the important people in my life. Some of them, I’ve never met and never will. Some are important simply because their words, music, or art touched my soul in a way that confirmed love and depth exist even in the most unexpected places. Those who can send that out like concentric circles in the universe are important people, even if they never know whom they have touched.

The movers and shakers of society, whether or not we like or approve of them, are important because they shape our culture. Their directives can expand our lives or box us into corners without any personal consideration. Even if I publicly turn my back to them, that is simply my “voice” of rebellion to their usurpation of power they should not have. In my heart they are not important, but in the world around me, they are.

In my little town, I own a business that might do very well somewhere else. An art gallery/framery in a town of mostly retired practical conservatives on fixed incomes is not where their money will be spent when the rooms and walls are full and the budget tightens. So, I just float along struggling to keep my nostrils above the surface.

I’ve come to realize that maybe my purpose is not to live in monetary comfort. I can say I live a rich life, nonetheless, for people come to visit me in my shop. We pull up a couple of chairs by the sunny display window and chat about whatever is on their minds. People walk past on the sidewalk and wave, sometimes joining us. Sometimes I think my real job is just to turn my ears and eyes toward them and hear them, see them, acknowledge their struggles, their triumphs, hear their miraculous stories, and share their value. These are gifts they give to me, trusting me enough to share these moments filled with verbal treasures.

These are important people. In sharing there is trust. In trust there is support. In support, value is built on both a personal and a community level. These important people are added to the long list of friends who helped me grow up while hanging from trees, flying down the foothill roads on bicycles, knocking each other to the pavement beneath the driveway basketball hoop, those who sat next to me in Band and passed notes in French class. Important, marvelously important, every one! And the stories that are shared are the invaluable gems of the heart.

Important people touch our hearts, not because they want to be important, but because in need there is giving, and the caring flows both ways. Simple acts that feed the souls of those around us might be the most important functions of our lives.