What is Left Behind?
I was in 4th or 5th grade the first time someone told me this, and it was Linda Rogas’s mother. She said emphatically that everyone was sent into this world with a purpose and a talent. Why did I never hear that in my home, in Church, or my Sunday School classes? That was the most spiritual thing anyone had ever said to me, and I took it to heart because when Lorraine Rogas said something, you dare not stand in disbelief.
Now, Linda always said that I told the best stories, but then again, we were children and she was my best friend. Those four years I lived in Orange County, California, grades 4-7, how many times did Linda and I spend the night at each other’s houses? Friends like that are like living guardian angels.
Since then, I’ve spent decades trying to determine my purpose. I know I have at least one, and I’m pretty sure I have not yet accomplished it, because I am still here, despite numerous deadly “close calls.” There have been three lightening strikes since age seven, two traffic related incidents, a house fire (which was quelched before it spread from the refrigerator), falls, near misses, and I could never even know how many other catastrophes I dodged without even knowing it. I was even caught in a riptide once and had to be rescued by the lifeguard (I never told Mother about that)!
To say I have had a “charmed life” might be a large stretch, but I’ve felt the nudge of God on my shoulder often enough to know there is something I’m not doing that I should be. And so, I look at the talents He has given me. I’m a fair artist, photographer, and writer.
My first degree was in Music Education, the area of my very least talent. I will never be more than a mediocre musician, and certainly not a composer. My keyboard skills are, at best, elementary level, and I fully believe you must “speak piano” to be a composer. Playing a wind instrument affords you only one melodic line at a time, but keyboard is the beginning of orchestration. My talent in music is that I understand it enough to be thoroughly enthralled with what other people can do with it.
I wish I could dance like a ballerina and perform acrobatics and gymnastics like Cirque du Soleil. Those artists can make their bodies do things that are humanly impossible, and make it look easy and graceful! I never had that level of flexibility or physical confidence. And at this age, getting down on the floor to pick up a dropped item will cause me to slide around looking for other fallen objects, while I’m down there, before I crawl to the wall and walk up it with my hands.
Playing an instrument in an ensemble, a band, an orchestra, a woodwind quintet, is total immersion. It is living inside the mind and soul of the composer, but even larger than that, because the composer plucked those lines of melody, counterpoint, rhythm, and harmony straight from the mind of God and translated them to marks on paper. The conductor interprets those marks and directs the musicians to literally breath life into them, to match and blend with each other, each to bring his best to uplift the whole. And that is what all of humanity should be about.
I have had my days and years in ensembles and those experiences are forever part of me. I hope I have more and better drawings and paintings still within me to bring out and share. Like the soundwaves of music, visual art carries the lines and curves of life as well as the spectrum of light and contrasting shadow that brightens and defines our souls. Trying to capture the glory and nuance of God’s nature on paper or canvas with a collection of pigments also requires total immersion.
And when I write, it is painting with words, emphasis, and pauses. Good writing should touch the soul so that as the words are read the mind paints the pictures and the heart fills in the sounds, touch, taste, smell, pain, and elation. Done well, it is all art.
While each of these art forms follows prescribed forms and rules defined as Music, Art, or Movement Theory, grammar, and syntax, it is the stretching and bending of subjective creation and reception of the composition that makes it worthy to touch hearts, souls, and lives.
I have been a teacher, been published in advertising, written and edited more than one business publication, worked in commercial printing, worked in or influenced legislation on the local, state, and national levels. But did I contribute anything of lasting value?
When my time comes, it is unlikely that I will be remembered for any kind of heroics, leave a multi-million-dollar legacy or legislation that improves humanity. I don’t foresee memorable moments on cinematic film or recordings of my singing or playing as some great performers have done and will continue to do. I am not at that level in any of my endeavors. But if I can leave behind thoughts, hopes, discoveries, inspiration through images created or words written, those will be my voice. God willing some of them will be good enough to be replayed and enjoyed beyond my years here.
What we leave behind is ART. I hope the “art” of positivity, love, and inspiration outshines the “art” of anger, hatred, and complaint.